to which I reply I don't talk like white people neither
I’ve got words and ways of saying them
that nobody's heard before
I create my own language molding
others into mine
taking a leaf
a piece here by here.

True, I took Latin in high school
was even the president of the club,
hung out in togas
and read some of the prettiest poetry
ever put to page
sum,
es
est
summus
esstes
sunt
i am, it is, they are…just a tense,
a smidge of the language can I still repeat
yet the addition
wraps tightly around my soul

I might die of happiness
when a new stitch is freshly metered
and takes hold
to become more than what I meant
More than words falling from mouth to ears that still cannot see.

16 August 2005 @ 03:32 am RANDOM RAMBLINGS: THE ADVENTURES OF HUCK FINN Huck Finn, Huck Finn, good golly I loved that book once. For any black person growing up, reading it is both a blessing and a curse. You confront racism and the usage of good words and bad. To say Nigger or not? A modern day Macbeth play, but I'm the one who was trying to wash the white from my skin, I was the one looking to put all the pieces back together again. Somehow facing the battle of how Huck Finn should be read and discussed proved the hardest part, seemed everyone in my class was just as discomforted by the usage of “the word” in the book. We began to understand what "Calling it Out" meant, that's what Twain had done, by using the word he reinforced what was common but he made the story more relevant for later, for us and for me. Because it was ONCE this way!
I had become religious about film in 1995 when it became apparent that our family was a movie family. Both my mom and Doug are ardent science fiction fans, so cultural touchstones like Star Trek and Star Wars were commonplace if they didn't reference witchcraft. Horror and serious fantasy were verboten, violence and sexuality on screen obviously no. Queer, absolutley not. I began with a base of Spielbergian childhood tragedy, Empire of the Sun remains my favorite film (Annie, a secret tie). Expanded to poignant hopes with Hook and Willow. Learned that I was not alone with Radio Flyer and The Color Purple. Was inspired to survive by This Boy's Life and a Soderbergh gem, King of the Hill. Taught cruel injustice by Edward Scissorhands and Malcolm X, and the cost of legendary status with Young Guns II. War Games made me wish to be part of peace, The Dark Crystal made me break with all the words in my heart I wished to make physical. Shawshank Redemption and It, by the same monumental author led me to consider the intertwining of injustice n' horror. Pulp Fiction and Chasing Amy pushed me beyond the boundaries of what I considered myself with the best results sellouts can hope for. I will always admonish anyone who disdains the mainstream, I grew up rural; without access to quick cultural changes and up to date rock fashions. I appreciate taking change to the stream. When I got to college, films like Bertolucci's The Conformist (2nd favorite movie), Trainspotting, and The Matrix blew my motherfucking mind. The Sum of Us, the film where Russell Crowe goes gay shotgunned my belief in gays as immoral and unable to commit. Once I looked into it, there was a rich history of long lasting love and co-habitation of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender peoples; pages ripped from the books. I chose UCLA as my college based on the number of theaters within a one mile radius (at the time 9) and Tia Carrere was speaking in the ballroom the day I took a tour. Wayne's World 2 is the best sequel of all time. I loved film, so I took classes in European, Chinese, German, French, Italian, African and Queer film. Mostly I enjoyed reading the books, watching the films in the media library and writing critical analysis papers.
it's never cold in my house doug smiles walk around attached to faces people kick back they want to love you and it is warm
Before films were books, the easiest escape until I was too angry to be totally taken away unless in film lit darkness, or to scared to. Later came music, once I was free to listen to secular music, and not the gospel or christian soft rock we were limited to growing up. If my stepfather saw you rocking out to DC Talk, a christian band he didn't like that so much. I always thought it was because he didn't want anyone to be happy, and I now believe I was right. Perhaps he doesn't understand that kind of happiness. I have been lucky to sweat with the crowd and sing along as my favorite rocker struts in panties and sings along with me.