Sun’s rays cower from smog
as Gram and I approached Robinson’s May
The Great Giant of a percent off
“Don’t wanna go inside”
Didn’t want to do a lot of things
those days,
This was when
I was about ten-
Gangly
huge at the same time
Skin, bones
and fucking boobs.
About 5 foot 6”
Didn’t want to do a lot of things
back then.
Shopping with Gram sure wasn’t
top of the list
She’d poke in to see about fits
And I’d have to huddle to cover my chest
To curl up back into less

I really didn’t want to go into Robinson’s May
But grandmother was insistent,
Pinched lip, flared nostril,
“Yes, this is going to happen”
So I half snarled,
a curled lip in response as I come out the car
I’d just finished reading The Outsiders,
and wished I could be smoking a Camel
and trying to emulate the lean of James Dean
But I was to meet Rosa Parks this day!
A mistake on both our parts, accidentally
stumbled into
an unfinished hall
pics of ROSA PARKS
a replica of the bus seat…what the f^^k?
Hadn’t wanted to go inside, even with air conditioning.
Oh, the privilege of youth
of knowing
what wasn’t
something that would help you.
Dismissively I walked down that hall
“I’ve got my own pains and thanks
but what you got, that’s gonna get me up?
The right to sit?
I got to kick it free of charge!
You wanna see the scars?
See I was ten, and things at that point didn’t matter.
Struggling at the time,
angrily navigating my way through
—
Church brothers in parking lots
Best Girl Friends who couldn’t watch their hands
abusive parent(s)
errant father(s)
every sin in the bible…that was me at 10.

So, I continued dismissively down the hall
Grandmother found me
Began RE: Rosa Parks, where she had been
when Rosa sat “for all of us”
What it had meant for the turning of our race
Escaping from the hellhole of never being good enough in the first…I tuned her out.

Oh, the privilege of youth
To know who will always love you,
And not think that someone could help you.

And so I met Ms. Parks.

Led by another
slowly
she was using a walker even then
An accident,
exhibit unfinished
she’s supposed to come
next day for its opening
“All the way down here for nothing?”
Desperately,
I had deeply
been considering the same thing.
Gram took me by crook and marched me straight up.
“Oh, Hello! This is my granddaughter Faith
we’re so honored to meet you”
The smallest of women,
tiny even.
But she had held onto her seat, she’d kept her peace
Looking at her, I realized she’d probably been polite too.
“Stay in school, Educate yourself”
was all I remember Rosa Parks saying.

Did I wish for something more tangible from the legendary lady?
What for? Natural knowledge came upon me as we left that place
My life while hard
could have been much harder
and so it may be
I will make it less for another…

But being a groundbreaker wouldn’t pay great
Lots of unfinished honors and mixed up dates