some things just don't get any better, (On TV) NBC4 Weather Plus+: Fritz: "Very frustrating because our storm has slowed down, almost to a halt as soon as it got to San Luis Obispo this morning." SCREEN FLASHES: SLOWED WAY DOWN That happened at 11:04pm, Thurs Dec 1st, 2005. My mom (who does stuff with construction, architecture, computers and networks that I don't know much about, lol) comes back from Africa on Dec 4th, 2005–she led a team of experts in infrastructure, technology, and most importantly agriculture…They also took my sister D, who’s just 14. An amazing experience, and welcome one for D. They left Malawi on Saturday and as they left the rain came there, for which they were ecstatic, it means life or death for so many. I do LOVE my family! Rainmakers, woo hoo.
2005-12-10 23:23:00 Notes from a non-island, with not so invisible ink
Life's full of stuff I just don't understand. I don't get love. I don't get if I've ever been in love. Perhaps I've always been looking for things lost, ending up with those who are looking too. I don't get lust either, but I can taste desire's less painful road. I've gotten over being overtalented, overeducated, and overly intellectual. For a queer black chick, this has been difficult as expected …and unexpectedly easier as I became a writer. or am i a writer cause…ARGH, ZOMBIES. Every disadvantaged rung I clung to, well use it as a stool, says I. Of course, right now I work in Pr0n. The very porn I've always loved! Girl on girl, softcore…I'm fucking blushing all the time. At night I write as much as I can, all the time it seems about so many different things…this makes me happy! I am sorry for any ill worded barbs I've slung this year. I find myself watching my quick but sometimes meaningless wit these days, so often people don't get what I'll do for a good laugh, lark or joke. I suppose I've tried so hard to laugh at my own tragedies, you know the rest right?
14 December 2005 @ 05:38 pm my apologies if i got you sick
I seem to have some weird hybrid of the flu and a sinus infection; fucking 'orrible…slept 20 of that last 30 hours hoping a hardcore sleepout would help. still not feeling great, hoping i'm over the worst bit though. Dreaming while sick is always weird for me, but sometimes it's more tangibly visual. babble, blah, going back to bed since I’ve now written this: NO CHOICE IN THE MATTER
a cold fucking winter
i'm warm in the car
watching water glisten
and glide off rearwindow
a dark highway with stillness highlighting the trees
as i pay close attention to the yellow dividing line
rising
and falling with me
at this time of darkest night
will fear cause falter
crashing past slivers of silver corroded road rims
to deep dark deathly water
all-the-while thinking:
how can there be so many bends?
but drive on i might,
during that time of darkest night
sleet being what you feel under toes
testing brakes, wheels and grinding gears
(you really knows nothing about)
trusting what works
to continue to work well
wondering about better.