Joss, in 5 acts
Whedon didn’t do it, he says
Whedon don’t believe you, say internet
Meanwhile memory of mine lives a long time
So excited was I the very first time
We waited for hours outside of Tower Records
Holding fresh copies of Once More
With the greatest feeling, for we were here
For a signing of Buffy cast with Joss
Only when we got in the door, it was a
Jabba the Hut Whedon with his mouth
Constantly agape and non stop
“Can we talk about how I’m great”
Next to the kid from Pete n Pete
Who looked like she wanted to murder him
Meanwhile everyone on cast had tight smiles
And nearly no interest in fans besides the
Loveliest Amber Benson ever delighted to be there

Seeing as it was already a troubled scene I
Believed it best to poke the bear
So I asked Joss Whedon right as I dropped
My cd for a sign, “but why isn’t Willow bisexual?
Since we know she loved Oz
it seemed decent to query the EP himself
And Joss smiled wide, and replied,
“Because bisexuals clearly don’t exist”
Making him someone I thought I'd keep an eye on

I remember other cast flinching when I asked this
And the folks I got a ride with
sure wanted my mouth shut
Stop bothering Joss etc etc
But seeing on his face such derision kinda made me
Question all the love I’d had for Buffy
And made me wonder what else Joss had in store

So it wasn’t with good intention that I went to Buffy events camera in hand, I thought just maybe I’d be there and be able to prove this guy bad news!
Cause people were in love with Joss in LA,
and he could do no wrong with the fans
but to crew a different story…

“Never had there been an EP more hated”
I was told by a fellow who relayed the best story
Of revenge from a Joss crew
Turned out the CD I’d had signed
had a bit more of a story
Specifically how an entire production of Buffy
Teamed up against Joss so he never won an Emmy
Every year different crew would find a way to
Ensure his submission tapes got submitted way late
So he never got a nom for Once More
With a feeling from his crew that they’d be damned
If they let a real monster win anything
May they rest easy knowing how much
Their efforts may have meant to actresses
Never having to shell out smiles to pretend
Emmy love for a producer who was serially abusive

Whedon said, never in my life
But I have seen with my own eyes
Joss use physical intimidation against his own staff
That time it was a fundraiser for John Kerry
And I won a bust of The Master in the raffle
But seeing Joss get
right in his assistant’s face
To scream jump and shout
See him ball up fists like
he was gonna hit the guy
And the guy,
near twice the size of Joss
just cowered
But Faith Cheltenham said
Hey Joss!
And right on purpose
I threw that bust to the ground
No, I guess it didn’t slip
And it broke like the love I’d had for a monster
Now broke but still worth something
For I never spent a dime again on any Joss anything
Not WhedonCon, nor Browncoat gatherings
Nor any screening of Dr. Horrible with NPH
Not a single cent and folks knew better than to
Say Joss Whedon around me

Except the last time, and wasn’t it a perfect end?
I was running panels at Comic Con in San Diego
And of course
Whedon types showed up after panel
Hey a program chair of WhedonCon said
Wouldn’t you consider sharing some of your experiences as a Black Buffy fan? And then
Almost immediately this white man
dropped the word nigger.
And it exploded like it does
anytime Black people are around
and white folks say it with the full r
Nah nigga NOT like Morgen Wallen
was doing with his friend
Nah this full grown white man wanted to say
“Come talk at WhedonCon…
something something NIGGER” and I was like
“don’t say Nigger ever ever”
and then some Black security guards right near
were like what he say?! WHAT HE SAY!?
Leaving me to leave him to explain
As I walked away saying mfing Joss Whedon!

I’m still #TeamAntiCancel so I forgive you Joss
And your n word dropping uberfans
I forgive too your lack of recollection,
for I am 1 in a billion when you
average it out as far as memory.

I hope you can say sorry, just sorry.
No more attacks on Black folks or women.
No more protestations of your zeal for equality.
What we wanna see is change
Where you give women writers credit
And you say more openly,
I could have been different

Lots of people who could have done better
I been there myself
not explaining my own need
For space and privacy,
and I have also been accused of
Being thoughtless, cruel and mean, so bub
I believe in our own ability to change.

Out of all the Ones who want something
more for you, Joss Whedon,
I count myself among them.
For I think all of the stories
Also reflect a different time than now
I don’t think you alone should pay
the price of time and a new century
And I believe your work also helped
women and minorities get to today
You gave more voice to them shouting at you
Countless women writers have more work
Many people of color were seen because of you too
So there isn’t a single way to look at it

And you’ve got another act or two left
Take an opportunity to make right what is left
Apologize personally by note and small gift
Say what people want to hear because it’s right
Because it’s good and that’s what you’ve stood for
Apologize for letting it get to your head and how
Incredibly hard you were on yourself
as well as everyone else
And see what happens to help you move on.

Just a thought
And one I might take myself up on too
Until then, Joss Whedon:
I know you can do more.
And I will hope for great things from you
Perhaps another season of Agent Shield
Leading into a proper Marvel film?
Lord knows we need a new Avengers pose

So many opportunities still available
But a world waits for you to say
Sorry: that’s not how I wanted you to know me
Going thru a divorce, and being entitled
Sorry to your actors and writers for not
Being the best Joss you could have been then
And perhaps a thank you for where you now stand
Humbled, more wise and certain that the internet doesn’t always get it right and yet
Most of us could always be better man

#songsinthekeyofx