Miss me at Christmas
Good, that’s another holiday
I wasn’t reminded of your daddy raping me
Won’t see me return calls or videos
And no, my kid doesn’t get
any of your video messages
I’ll cash your gift cards tho
Call em reparations

As I explained it
It’s not your fault
And if we could change it
We would, and we would go back
But we can’t
So every time I see you brother
I see your father and I smell him

I feel his fingers in me
I feel his hand on my head
Massaging my four year old head
Against a hardness I could not understand
And only would later comprehend

His victims still live
They have been in contact with me
And yet, I don’t speak his name
I don’t launch whole campaigns
All because his son and his daughters
Are my half siblings

Don’t mean I gotta hang out
Don’t mean we ever gotta talk
And yeah everyone knows
He’s a creep and
don’t let your baby alone with him
You chose long ago,
and there’s no going back now
When you hug the man
who was arrested
For raping our baby sister
I hope you hug hard
Maybe choke
that fucker to death
I dunno

But nah man,
you can’t hug me no mo
No we can’t be close
Nope, you are no contact
with me and my son
Along with the entirety of my past

The abuse you participated in
Is still your most major MO
Like a shoe you can’t get out of
You misuse my time and energy but
I ain’t no ones slave anymore

And kid? I did those days as youth
So I’d never have to speak again
to any of them. And any of you
Not ever, not really, never
And sometimes I feel bad
But honestly I sleep better
I feel good and smile more too

Be happy then.
Your absence is a gift.
Keep on giving it
dearest, every year.
April 14 2024