This is so good,
I mean gosh dang
I might have lived
My whole life
Looking to capitalize
On men so casually
Cruel they of the opinion
Ain’t no one following their
Tools, their dicks and flaws
But baby I’m the bitch
Who needs no notebook!

Favorite so far?
Lemme tell you,
It’s the Wedding Guy!

You start up a chat
And aren’t sure why this guy
Is exactly interesting
Is as smart as he thinks he is
But he’s sure charming man
He’s Morrissey on steroids
With the love bombs and
Sending of kisses
As he tells you he gotta get
ready for his sister’s wedding

So you chat daily as he preps
And repeat your boundaries
That’s you’re into a relationship
Or want to make a plan, so
Thanks, and bye but he says
Hey, it’s my sisters wedding
Give me some time.
Meaning, you’re his
to sext for the week.

And ain’t that sweet you think
But honey, you met this boy
On a dating app in 2024
Where nothing is real
So let’s take a trip
On a little fantasy
And take a peek at
What could be the
Absolutely the sweetest
Little scam
And maybe anyone
could use it?
Honestly it’s a bit cute,
Likely even adorable

By identifying value and care
A man instantly becomes
more pretty
Stands out from the crowd
All the way to the night before
the wedding when maybe
You can help baby boy
feel less stressed
And again, as soon
as squirt gets twice wet
He’s got what he wants
And then mid day messages
Disappear along with him
And all these other
Goddamn Dick Magicians

He’s got another sister, doesn’t he?
And she’s getting married next week,
Or, so I imagine he’s telling someone else
As for me, nah!

Shame that, could have sworn
I write as good, or as clever
As Lewis Carroll🐰

Faith Cheltenham
is in your dating apps.
You’ve been warned
and warned.
I use my name in my bio
and everything 😂